As crocuses and daffodils are popping up everywhere with little bursts of color, it seems
to be a good time of year to remind ourselves to ‘stop and smell the roses’…. but why? Findings from a quick google search show that this phrase seems to have originated in the 20s or 30s from a golfer named Walther Hagan. His quote is “Don’t hurry, don’t worry. You’re only here for a short visit. So be sure to stop and smell the flowers.” This is a phrase that we might hear as we make our way through our busy lives rushing from one task to the next, but what is really so helpful about stopping to smell the roses? Stopping and smelling the roses is a mindful act and mindfulness can shift our relationship to struggles and stress. Mindfulness is “awareness of present experience with acceptance”. 1 When we take a moment to ‘stop’, we are bringing ourselves out of a busy day or a busy mind into the present moment. It gives our minds a break which can help emotions and thoughts settle and become clearer. “Mindfulness is a skill that allows us to be less reactive to what is happening in the moment”.1 ‘Smelling’ the rose allows awareness of the experience. Using our senses is a great way to become aware of our present experience. We spend much of our days in the past or the future through our thoughts, which helps us make plans, do our jobs, and function in our daily worlds. However, many struggles and stresses can come out of these thoughts such as rumination about the past or worries about the future. A sensation becomes a story in our minds of what has happened before or what might happen with little to no attention paid to what ‘is’ in that moment. “Suffering seems to increase as we stray from the present moment”. 1 We can get out of our thoughts and into the present moment through our current experiences of what we see, hear, smell, taste, and feel. ‘Acceptance’ of the present moment is a powerful component of mindfulness. It seems easy to accept the sweet smell of a rose since it is most often considered pleasant. But what if that rose causes us to sneeze or a thorn pricks us? It may be more difficult to accept an experience that is considered unpleasant. However, “rejecting or clinging to what is occurring in the moment” increases suffering, while shifting our relationship to an openhearted acceptance increases our sense of well-being.1 So I invite you this spring, and always, to ‘stop and smell the roses’. Find a time during your day to bring your attention to the present moment with acceptance of what ‘is’. You could listen to the sounds of a busy street for a moment, look at the color of the sky whether it be blue or grey, feel the rough bark of a tree, taste the tang of an orange, or smell a rose. A daily practice of mindfulness supports a sense of well-being as we relate to the challenges and stresses in our lives. 1 Germer, C. K., Siegel, R. D., & Fulton, P. R. (2005). Mindfulness and psychotherapy. New York: Guilford Press.
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Amy Small
Amy Small, LICSW, is the new Kesher social worker at the synagogue. Kesher is the congregational outreach program of Jewish Family Service of Rhode Island, funded by the Jewish Alliance of Greater Rhode Island, and currently active at Congregation Agudas Achim, Temple Torat Yisrael, Temple Am David, Temple Emanu-El and Congregation Beth Sholom. Amy may be reached at asmall@jfsri.org or Archives
August 2018
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